I am a known pessimist. In the past, and I’m sure it’s on record somewhere, I have said (multiple times, to multiple people) that optimism irks me. It’s saccharine, it’s cringe, it’s trite. Do better, be more interesting, etc etc etc.

And that’s still true, (don’t worry, I’m not here to tell you that I’m reformed) it’s just that with living comes experience comes the knowledge that balance is the key to all things (ew). I guess what I’m saying is that being a pessimist 24/7 can really take a toll on your mental health. And sometimes when everything in life is shit already (2020 & 2021, I’m looking at you), thinking about how much you hate the world isn’t going to help you climb out of any holes. So I suppose I’ve been making an effort to look on the brighter side (again, ew). But that’s another story.

The problem is that I like being a pessimist. I like complaining, and I love having a whinge. Having a moan is almost a means of catharsis, a harmless expression of frustration, a release, if you will.

I also think that it’s good to be passionate about things, even if that passion isn’t traditionally productive.

Emily North from angel cake recently published a list of things she hates. It got me thinking that I, too, happen to hate enough things to be able to construct a hefty list of them. So that’s what I’ve done.

a (non-exhaustive) list of things I hate:

• the feeling of paper on damp or freshly cleaned skin

• that Instagram still finds a way to send me push messages despite me toggling off every single notification option in settings

• how expensive car maintenance is

• that mechanics talk down to me

• that Napisan never really works when you need it to

• people who wear natural deodorant (I’m aware that this is unoriginal)

• how expensive it is to do anything fun to our appearance (hair, nails, tattoos etc)

• that I’m two months away from finishing my masters and there seems to be no jobs that I want anywhere

• how annoying american podcasts are. I’m sure there are a lot of great ones content-wise but I just can’t hack it

• fast fashion hauls

• that everyone dresses the same

• boys’ private schools

• how my hot water bottle leaves burn marks

• that I have to use amazon to buy books for my kindle

• how gross my water bottle gets (I’m aware that this could be solved by cleaning it more often but I’m simply not going to do that)

• that tanning is bad for you (why so much dopamine?)

• crabs (this extends to every crustacean in existence)

• those mugs that say ‘but first, coffee’

• everything I wore in 2014

• watching rugby

• minions and everything minion-related

• packed trams

• strong winds

• that my apartment’s hot water only lasts about 7 minutes

• that creativity is not a constant but an unpredictable ebb and flow

• dr pepper

• that my feet are so fucking big

• that I can’t get the last bit of aquaphor out of the tube

• that tea never tastes as good as it smells

• that nostalgia is such a good liar

• eggs with no seasoning

• how i slept on ross lynch for so long

• rude people

• spending money on a physical book and then hating it (The Island of Missing Trees I’m looking at you)

• TikTok book culture (sometimes)

• my inability to put certain feelings into words

• how often I get migraines

• that smoking looks cool

• pears

• how BBLs look (not good)

• how it feels cringe to keep a diary

• Marvel movies (sorry)

• how many truly shit books there are out there

• when australia post lies to me

• being hot and sweaty outside of an exercise context

• soft drinks when they’re not ice-cold

• that Spotify radio just plays you the same songs you already listen to

• that 2014 harry styles no longer exists

• that there’s a guy whose fortune comes from founding a crypto-gambling site that is building a home worth $150 million in Toorak on land that cost him $80 million (so capitalism)

• 1989 Taylor’s Version (I will stand by this forever)

• almond essence

• when there’s too much lemon on avocado (vom)

My partner Holly’s list (according to her she’s a pessimist only some of the time, and maybe that’s why her list is so much shorter than mine):

• earwigs

• when potato cakes aren’t crispy

• when the slow burn is too slow

• people that drive slowly in the fast lane (“zoom zoom lane” was the quote)

• people who are late

• when Sydney lose

• when her candles tunnel

• people who take AGES to get ready and don’t account for it when planning

• unnecessary backstory

• when she’s craving a food and then she eats it and it’s not satisfying

• when I stay over and unpack my bag all over her floor (oops)

Look, there’s probably gonna be a part two to this list at some point, because both my hatred and pessimism know no bounds.

so until next time, lovers.

P.S. if in doubt, have a moan about it xx

P.P.S. the after dinner mint!

some vibes for your personal perusal:

xx